John’s Blog review: You had a good topic sentence but it wasn’t attention grabbing. You didn’t have any quote to support your argument, your points were based off of opinion and own personal experience which isn’t going to help the people that you are trying to persuade You didn’t say nor cite where you got your statistics from. So I don’t know if your statistics are accurate or not. You didn’t have any transitions You also started of a sentence with “and”, you should never start a sentence with “and”, also try to avoid using “I like” “I think” or “I believe”. I don’t agree with your argument, but I do believe with a little more support you will have a strong argument. You should add more pictures to your blog. I like you page layout.
John’s Blog review:
ReplyDeleteYou had a good topic sentence but it wasn’t attention grabbing.
You didn’t have any quote to support your argument, your points were based off of opinion and own personal experience which isn’t going to help the people that you are trying to persuade
You didn’t say nor cite where you got your statistics from. So I don’t know if your statistics are accurate or not.
You didn’t have any transitions
You also started of a sentence with “and”, you should never start a sentence with “and”, also try to avoid using “I like” “I think” or “I believe”.
I don’t agree with your argument, but I do believe with a little more support you will have a strong argument.
You should add more pictures to your blog.
I like you page layout.